Breaking up is hard to do, and it’s even harder when you’re living together. No matter how you play it, it won’t be easy, but there are several things you can do to ensure that the entire process is as painless as possible…
Pick Your Timing
If you are planning on breaking up with your partner, try and do so when they are relaxed and have time to get to grips with the situation.
In the morning before work is a terrible time, and even a weeknight is not ideal. Rather aim for a weekend or Friday evening so that there is time for them to grieve and to adjust a bit to the situation.
Have An Exit Plan
Even if you own the home you are both co-habiting, it is always good to have an exit strategy to give the other person some space.
Try and organise to stay with a friend for a few days and then set up a time to discuss the way forward once your now ex-partner has had a little bit of breathing room. You may want to just take some time out and play a bit of Bingo Australia has to offer, as the whole ordeal will be hard on you too.
Divide and Conquer
If you are sharing things equally, try and work out what you want out of the break up, and be fair about if.
If you each bought furniture and appliances things can be split quite evenly, but if you have pooled resources you may need to take some time to assess who will get what, and if any one owes the other any sort of compensation for items that cannot be split. It can be worth getting in an objective 3rd party to help here, just to ensure everyone feels that things are fairly divided.
Avoid a War
Your ex will most likely be angry at some stage, and this is completely natural. Try not to get involved in a messy battle or slanging match, as this will make things even harder than before.
If needs be, communicate in email or text, as that way you will have to think about what each of you are saying, and there won’t be as many heated emptions flying around.
Take the Next Step, Fast
If one of you needs to move out, try and make the decision as to who this will be and when s soon as possible. Once there is a definite end and a future plan, things will become a little bit easier on you both.
If you are stuck living together, try not to do anything to heighten emotions, set up a separate bedroom for yourself and above all, do not bring new love interests home while your ex is still living there!
Be sensitive to the situation, be aware of how the other person may be hurting, and above all, be considerate. You once shared something special and that’s always worth remembering.