We’ve all felt a twinge of the green-eyed monster coming to the fore at times and it may lead you to think irrational thoughts and behave equally as irrationally.
Jealousy in a relationship is something that most of us will experience at some point, but it’s important to recognise this jealously, understand it, and deal with it before it lays waste to your relationship.
Recognise Your Jealousy
Often times when you’re feeling jealous, you’re likely to start arguments over nothing or make passive-aggressive comments instead of communicating with your partner about what’s actually bothering you.
Recognising this jealousy and communicating openly about this with your partner is the first step in overcoming jealously. Tell them what upset you and talk about why you found it so upsetting.
Take an Outsider’s Perspective
Put yourself into the shoes of an outsider and take an unbiased look at what upset you. Imagine yourself as a close friend and upon hearing about your situation, how would you react?
Does the incident that upset you now seem completely normal and entirely innocent? Creating mental distance from your relationship may help you see things with more perspective and may help you nip destructive feelings of jealousy when they arise.
Focus on Your Relationship’s Positives
Just because you think your partner was flirting with someone else, doesn’t mean they actually were and even if they were, so what?
Just because your partner spends too much time for your liking at River Belle Casino or had a friendly conversation with a stranger, doesn’t mean they’re about to leave you behind.
Think about your relationship as a whole and focus on its positive aspects. If there are things that bother you about the relationship, communicate this with your partner as well.
Jealousy Doesn’t Mean Reality
If there’s one thing that jealousy is a master of, it’s providing perfect fodder for an overactive imagination.
Even if you have an inkling that your partner may have a crush on someone else, this doesn’t mean they’re cheating on you or about to dump you. If it’s really bothering you, talk to your partner and they’ll likely set your mind at ease.
Find the Underlying Cause of Your Jealousy
There are most likely underlying causes for your feelings of jealousy and it may have nothing to do with your partner.
Confront your feelings of jealousy honestly and figure out what is causing you to feel this way. Confide in your friends and get their opinion on the situation, it may be more enlightening than you expect it to be.
Let Go Of Baggage
Perhaps you’re worried that your partner will cheat on you because your ex did just that or perhaps one of your parents was unfaithful to the other?
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to remember that your current relationship isn’t the same as your old one and it’s important to recognise and confront patterns of destructive behaviour before the same mistakes are repeated.